UNMASKING GREEN-EYED MONSTER

Jealousy refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment and disgust.

"O,beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock.The meat it feeds on."   -William Shakespeare

 

We tend to think of jealousy as a single emotion, but actually it is a bundle of feelings that tend to get lumped together. Jealousy can manifest itself as anger, fear, hurt, betrayal, anxiety, agitation, sadness, paranoia, depression, loneliness, envy, coveting, feeling powerless, feeling inadequate, feeling excluded, or all of the above. Feelings of jealousy always appear to stem from one's sense that something about their life is not secure, e.g., is uncertain or in danger. "If you find serenity and happiness, some people may be jealous. Be happy anyway."  -Mother Teresa

Jealousy is about fear-fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of losing power or control in a relationship, fear of scarcity and of loss, and fear of abandonment.  It is a reflection of our own insecurities about our worthiness, anxiety about being adequate as a lover, and doubts about our own desirability. For every jealous feeling, there is an emotion behind it that is much more significant than the jealousy itself.

Behind jealousy there is also an unmet need or a deep fear that our needs will not be met.  Recognizing those fears and unmet needs is the key to unmasking jealousy and taking away its power.  Like a finger pointing at the fears and needs we are afraid to face, this emotion kicks in.  It is the part of our brain going into a "fight or flight" response because we feel that our very survival is being threatened.

As emotions go, jealousy is neither subtle nor kind, but it is definitely complex, encompassing feelings from fear of abandonment to rage to humiliation. It strikes both men and women when they perceive a third-party threat to a valued relationship, and that distinguishes it from envy, which involves wanting something someone else has. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds, but it more often destroys them. And it can give rise to relationship violence. Jealousy is a natural emotion, and one we all experience on some level.  No matter how jealous you get or what you get jealous over, learning to control it is the key to empowerment. See the heights of feeling jealous through this video.

 

"Keep walking, keep talking, you got nothing on me..keep smiling, because you know you can't do it what i do..keep staring , comparing thinking what it would be like to be in my shoes....You can't do What i do..!!"